There are events or moments in each of our lives that permanently leave their mark.  This morning, I was reflecting on some of the pinnacle moments of my life, and why it is that they stick out more than others.  Over the next couple of posts I will be sharing some of these unforgettable moments of my life.

Unforgettable Moment #1 (in no particular order of importance):

The day I graduated from college – I actually had a guidance counselor in high school tell me that I needed to consider other options, because college isn’t for everyone.  A few years later, when I walked onto a stage to receive my bachelor’s degree, I imagined this lady weeping somewhere, dumbfounded by her lack of wise counsel.  Her words actually fueled the flame of my success.  Oh and by the way, I am 4 classes shy of receiving my master’s degree…booyah, Mrs. Guidance Counselor!!!  Anyway, when I stepped off of the stage with my degree in hand, my dad ran and met me halfway down the aisle and hugged me and told me he was proud of me.  Those words have also fueled the flame of my success.  I will never forget how excited he was.  I was the first person on either side of my family to graduate with a bachelor’s degree and the 5 words that my father spoke to me that day made want to accomplish more than I ever dreamed I could.

James 3:10 teaches that “from the same mouth come blessing and cursing.” In other words, with the words of our mouth we have the wonderful ability to be a blessing to others, and on the flip side, the unfortunate ability to curse others.  Likewise, Proverbs 16:24 says, “pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

We have all had moments where words have wounded us, and moments where words have made us feel invincible.  Therefore, we have got to understand that there is such power in the words we speak and we need to take great care of what exits our mouths.  As my wife is constantly reminding me, “Tommy, think before you speak!”

I would love to hear your story.  What is an unforgettable moment in your life, when words have fueled you?

Okay, it’s confession time. I’ve been in this kind of a funk lately.  I don’t know if it’s because of the change of the season or what.  It’s strange, but I have really been homesick, though the concept of home is a loose one these days.  After all, my family is scattered all over the southeast and I don’t see them, but maybe once a year.  The reality is that I never see my extended family anymore.

All of my family and friends are busy going about their lives and to be honest, it often hurts to not be a part of it.  To know my friends have new friends to laugh and to share with,  to do life with, is really a struggle for me deal with.  I mean, I know they are still my friends, but things are just different now.  Maybe this is just a part of growing up and I need to learn to cope, but I find myself daydreaming and reminiscing quite a bit of late.  Thinking of the way it used to be.  I also find myself really struggling to focus on accomplishing the simplest of tasks.

Last week I sat in a leadership network meeting and we were watching a Wayne Cordeiro message on Leading on Empty.  Wayne discussed the importance of identifying the things that “fill your tank” or bring you joy.  He basically said that having those things in your life that fill you are just as important as doing the things that drain you.  He went on to say that without these enjoyable things, your lives become solid drudgery.

This week it has hit me.  Spending time with my family and my friends really fills my tank and my tank has been sitting on E for awhile now.  The problem is, that they are so scattered and far away and it can be expensive to travel.  So, I’m not really sure of the solution, only to say that it’s time for me to make an effort, a trip, something, because I can’t continue to run on empty.

I’m not saying this to sound whiny, although I would appreciate your prayers.  However, I know I’m not alone.  We all get so busy running full speed that we rarely slow down enough to refuel.  The truth is that it is so important for our health…our physical, emotional, relational,  and spiritual health to find those things that refuel us.

What does that look like for you?  What is it that fills your tank?

Have you ever been blamed for something you didn’t do, or worse yet, punished? I’m the king of such awkward moments. For example, I was paddled in the 3rd grade for talking in line (ahhh…remember the days when random grown folks could beat you?). The problem is, it wasn’t me who was talking but the guy in front of me, and I definitely wasn’t a snitch. In another instance, I had a teacher in 7th grade, named Mr. Worchester (whom I now suspect was on steroids), flip my desk with me still in it for talking during a test…again, it wasn’t me. Although, I did have some…ehem… “things” to say about Mr. Worchester after the desk flipping.

Such awkward embarrassing moments have sadly followed me into an adulthood. When I was 28, a lady basically assaulted me for throwing a piece of paper in “her” church. It took me off guard and was completely embarrassing. I mean I’m a pretty big guy and here is this lady manhandling me in the sanctuary (which ironically means “place of refuge”). I mean, what do you do in that moment? What do you say?

As I think back to those strange moments in my life, I think about the anger I felt for being wrongly accused and punished. I think of the embarrassment and shame I felt as other students (and adults) laughed and whispered.

Now, multiply that by infinity and you get the gospel message. Hebrews 12:2-3 teaches us that Jesus, who for “the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people…” (NLT).

On the cross, Jesus felt the full wrath of God poured out on Him because of our sin and rebellion. He was punished for a crime he did not commit. He endured shame and hostility on our behalf. He did it for the joy set before him. The joy of bringing glory to His Father. The joy of defeating sin and death once and for all. The joy of the redemption of mankind.

I think too often we play the role of victim. Like God is out to get us or that He’s just not being fair. Maybe we think He’s punishing us. But the truth is, we really don’t understand what it is that we truly deserve. It’s not pretty when you think about it. However, Jesus knew and yet took our shame and punishment on Himself, that we might press on to know Him and the freedom He offers. This is the absolute beauty of the gospel…that in His shame, in His punishment, in His death…we find our only reason to hope.

The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“The price we are having to pay today in the shape of the collapse of the organized Church is only the inevitable consequence of our policy of making grace available to all at too low a cost.  We gave away the word and sacraments wholesale, we baptized, confirmed, and absolved a whole nation unasked and without condition.  Our humanitarian sentiment made us give that which was holy to the scornful and unbelieving.  We poured forth unending streams of grace.  But the call to follow Jesus in the narrow way was hardly ever heard.”

Wow!  As a pastor, this indictment of the Church rocks me to the core.  Bonhoeffer penned this statement several decades ago, yet the sentiment still convicts to this day.  We continue to call people to cheap grace.  A grace that Bonhoeffer describes as “grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”  Matthew 13 teaches us that the grace that God is offering us is “like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”  The call to follow Jesus, beckons us still, to lay aside all that was and all that is, to be all that he has called us to be.  We must take His call to discipleship seriously if we are to discover the joy, freedom, and abundant life that pours from his costly grace.  Have you considered the cost?  Are you truly willing to follow Him?

I don’t know if it’s something in the air, or the fact that people are once again overwhelmed by all that’s in front of them, but there seems to be a lot of tension between folks I know these days.  As are most disputes, they seem to be over trivial matters.  Therefore, when we find ourselves caught in such tensions, we desperately need to do a thorough examination of ourselves.

Romans 12:18 instructs us, “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  But, why is it that this is so difficult for us to do?  Scripture just so happens to direct us to the foundation of most disputes.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”   -   James 4:1-3

What James is teaching is that when we find ourselves in the middle of a dispute with someone, we need to first check our motives.  Are we being selfish?  Are we just looking to get our way?  Most importantly, is the thing we are fighting about a kingdom issue or something for which we have earnestly sought God?  If I’m honest, I can truly say that most disagreements I have with others are silly, trite issues that are just specks in the scope of eternity, and stem from a place of selfish desire rather than submission to Christ.

Do you often find yourself dealing with such tension?  Are you currently gearing up for battle with someone over something silly?  Have you recently clashed with another over a petty issue?  It’s time to step back and take a look into your own heart and submit yourself to God.

In light of this, it may be time for many of you to sit down with someone and cast aside your differences.  To be a catalyst for peace and forgiveness.  In doing so, you will ultimately find yourself in the midst of the blessing that God promises (Matt. 5:9).  The blessing that comes from living according to His will and His desires and not our own.

Peace.

Today was actually the first day in awhile that I was able to sit back and relax.  As I sit here, outside of a small cabin in South Carolina, enjoying the smell of the pine that fuels my fire, my thoughts wander to one particular passage of scripture -

“Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” – Luke 5:16

God incarnate…Jesus himself, whom everyone wanted a piece of (in more ways than one), took time to get away.  Not only that, but he did it often.  He didn’t wait until his yearly beach vacay or assigned day off.  The Son of God took time regularly to withdraw from the crowd and get alone.

As pastors, we often equate busyness with godliness, as if being busy was a spiritual gift.  Now don’t get me wrong, we should absolutely work hard.  However,  an integral part of our routine should actually be to get alone with God and allow him to refresh us and speak into our lives…this is a definite necessity.  For pastors, this should be a no-brainer…right?  Then why is it that we find this so difficult to do?

The truth is that each of us spend so much time filling our lives with all kinds of noise and idle activity, that it actually has a deep impact on our intimacy with God.  I truly believe that this is a weapon that our spiritual enemy uses to distract us from our priority.  Yet, we are so often too busy to notice.

Here’s the thing.  If withdrawing was a regular practice of Jesus, should we not make it a regular practice in our own lives?  This has major implications on our spiritual health and ability to lead.  We should certainly work hard…and we should certainly withdraw regularly.

Is there room in your life for rest and prayer?  If not, don’t you think there should be?