“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
~ James 4:14  

A couple of weeks ago, we began a new series at ACC, called Taboo.  Basically, through the series, we are addressing several very difficult topics.  Topics, that if we are being honest, we would rather not talk about or really even think about for that matter.

The first message in the series dealt with the subject of Death and since delivering that message, I have been thinking quite a bit about the topic.  You see, we all know it’s an inevitability.  The death rate for human beings is still 100%.  So, as human beings, especially as followers of Christ, why does the concept frighten us?

As I have been thinking on the subject, I couldn’t help but really think that one of the things that we fear most, is leaving things here on earth unfinished – unfinished relationships, unfinished hopes and dreams, and especially unfinished business with God.

So, we choose to ignore the topic as much as possible and are shocked when it hits close to home.  But the truth remains; our time on this earth is limited.

If you’re anything like me, you may be tempted to view this reality as harsh and unwelcome, and let even the thought of it overwhelm you or paralyze you.  However, I believe that God keeps this reality before us for a reason, not to frighten us or immobilize us, but to inspire us to action.  To remind us of the urgency of each passing moment of our lives.  Rather than scaring us into playing it safe, I’m convinced that embracing our time on earth as a limited commodity can have the incredible power to free us.

“Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.”
~ Psalm 90:12

SO WHERE AM I GOING WITH ALL OF THIS?

What if we knew when our expiration date was?  For example, what if we knew we only had 60 days left on this earth?  I believe this knowledge would change the way we live instantly.  We would become more authentic about who we really are and be way more intentional about how we spend the time and resources we have.  I truly believe we would take more giant filled steps of faith each day.

So my question for you:  What is keeping you from living this way now?

What if you knew you only had 60 days left to live?  What immediate changes would take place in your life?  How would it affect your relationship with God?  With others?  How would it affect the daily decisions you made? The way you spend your time and resources?

“The measure of life, after all, is not it’s duration, but it’s donation”
~ Corrie Ten Boom

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”     ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Are we really to give thanks in ALL circumstances?  Am I reading that correctly?  This verse has really hit me hard over the last few weeks.  I’m just gonna be straight up and say that ministry is tough.  People are difficult.  Everybody’s an expert and everybody’s a critic.  And it really can wear on you after awhile.  Because of this, I find myself in a funk every once in awhile, where I am constantly complaining and frustrated.  Lately, I have been in such a funk.  A few weeks ago I ran across this verse, which I have read hundreds of times,  and yet it really hit me harder than it ever has.  Am I living life with an attitude of thankfulness?  Needless to say, an attitude check was needed.

So, for what it’s worth, here are a couple of things that God is teaching me presently -

1. Gratitude is given: If I am truly grateful, my attitude should reflect it.  I need to approach, not only God with an attitude of thankfulness, but also others.  I have to quit assuming people know I am grateful for them.  Because people matter to God, if I am to lead them well, they will matter to me.  My attitude toward them should be a priority.
2. Gratitude begins, where my sense of entitlement ends:  Colossians 3:17 teaches us that “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  I often overlook the fact that God, in His mercy, has given me the privilege of serving Him and others.   I have noticed that not only I, but many who are serving Jesus in ministry, need to be reminded of this.  Even if not spoken, we sometimes feel entitled to our position, as if it is our gifts and abilities that sustain the blessing of God.  As leaders, we should walk in utmost humility.  We are servants of God and people.  We do not deserve to be here.  We are blessed just to have a relationship with Him and to be able to serve Him, but for whatever reason, our blessings seem to turn into burdens.  An example of this is, when we first bought our house, we were so grateful.  We would say things like, “look at where we get to live…look at the beautiful yard we have…look at the size of these rooms.”  Somewhere along the line our attitude changed, and we began to say things like, “I hate it, but I’ve got to mow the yard…I’ve got to paint the walls…I’ve got to clean these rooms.”  What used to be a blessing…sorry, what IS a blessing, we began to see as a burden.  Remember that God, in His mercy, has blessed us to be able to serve Him and those around us.
3. God desires an attitude of gratitude more than our sacrifice of service:  Psalm 69:30-31 says,“I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the LORD more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.” It really is about our attitude.  Our attitude should drive our actions.  God does not desire for us to see our service to Him as a burden.  You ever notice how grateful people can seem to find and create blessing in almost any situation?  Conversely, negative people can find or create a burden in almost any situation.  You and I both dread dealing with people like that.  However, many of us are blind to the fact that WE are often that person.  We need to develop an attitude of thankfulness. Too often we complain about the very thing God has blessed us with.

My attitude is a reflection of God’s grace and mercy in my life.  My guess is that many of us need an attitude adjustment.  We need to learn to be thankful in all circumstances.

What are some ways that you can choose to be a reflection of God’s blessing this week and to be a blessing to those around you?

Ephesians 5:22-27
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

On more than one occasion I have heard it taught or said that while the Bible commands a man to “love his wife as Christ loved the church,” nowhere does it say that a wife is commanded to love her husband.  First of all, I feel sorry for those that actually think that. I mean what would even lead to such a school of thought?  However, I believe that if we take a closer look at the text, we will see that though it may not say it, it implies it in a big way.

It’s true that Scripture teaches husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and in order for us to understand what that looks like, we simply have to look at the life of Jesus; His example, His sacrifice, His humility and service, His protection and provision, and His loving pursuit of mankind.  On the flip-side, if we are going to understand what godly submission looks like within a marriage relationship, we have to look at the response of the church to the love of Christ.

How do you show your devotion to Jesus?  The easy answer is found in the words of Jesus himself.  When asked what the greatest command was, Jesus quickly replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37).

Love is the chief characteristic of a follower of Jesus.  Jesus teaches that  “everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  How could this not also be the chief characteristic of a godly marriage?

The picture that Scripture paints of godly submission in the context of a marriage relationship is a beautiful one.  It is one of unconditional, unrelenting love.  It is one of passionate pursuit, and deep devotion.  It is one of honor and respect.

Maybe Sinatra was on to something when he sang, “Love and marriage…they go together like a horse and carriage.  This I tell you brother, you can’t have one without the other.”

Jesus himself would certainly agree with that.

The following are notes from the second session of Unleash with pastor Perry Noble.  Really challenging message:

1 Samuel 14:1-7

“One day Jonathan son of Saul said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the Philistine outpost on the other side.” But he did not tell his father.

Saul was staying on the outskirts of Gibeah under a pomegranate tree in Migron. With him were about six hundred men, among whom was Ahijah, who was wearing an ephod. He was a son of Ichabod’s brother Ahitub son of Phinehas, the son of Eli, the LORD’s priest in Shiloh. No one was aware that Jonathan had left.

On each side of the pass that Jonathan intended to cross to reach the Philistine outpost was a cliff; one was called Bozez and the other Seneh.  One cliff stood to the north toward Mikmash, the other to the south toward Geba.

Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few.”

“Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

In John 14:12 Jesus says to his disciples, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.”

Is your church a church of greater things?

PREPARATION

• Jonathan was willing to walk away from the safety of the “inner circle” to get things done.  God never called us to play it safe.
• Jonathan’s heart was set on fire and he had to move.  He was consumed by a vision.  That’s what happens when God prepares the heart of a leader.
• Do what God has called you to do.
• God doesn’t call a committee, He calls and uses a leader.  When God wants to set His church on fire, He starts with the leader.  Listen to those who love Jesus, love you, and love the church.

PERHAPS

• 1 Samuel 14:6 – “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf.”
• The Bible is full of people who have the guts to say “perhaps”.  Not committees working on a 5-10 year strategic plan.
• When you step out, people are going to think you’re crazy, because they can’t see the full story.
• When you read the Bible, you understand that it’s normal not to know what is going to happen next.
• When you’re doing something for God, the “cons” are probably going to outweigh the “pros”.
• Where are the leaders today that will step up and say “perhaps”?

PARTNERSHIP

• 1 Samuel 14:7 – “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”
• We have to be leaders worth following.
• Find a leader worth following.  Care more about who they are, than what they can do.
• We are developed by submitting to Godly authority.
• What an amazing victory that was brought about by a Godly leader, who had the courage and faith to ask “perhaps” and the willingness and faith of an unnamed armor-bearer to follow.
• Could you look your pastor in the eye and say, “Do all that you have in mind.  Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

The thing that really has hit a nerve with me is the fact that our society is entertained by the brokenness of others.  People like Charlie Sheen, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan become the butt of our jokes.  We tune in to shows like Celebrity Rehab, 16 and Pregnant, and even the popular Jersey Shore, which all seem to take destructive behavior and make it an art form.

Ephesians 4:17-19 (The Message)

“And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go…addicted to every sort of perversion.”

Scripture teaches us that we have become calloused and hard hearted towards sin.  The truth is that we have become so desensitized to such behavior, that we are actually reveling in the destruction of other human beings.

For those of us, who call ourselves followers of Christ, we sadly tune in like the rest of the crowd in a modern day gladiator arena, waiting to see those placed before us torn apart…and we cheer and jeer as a life is destroyed before our eyes.

Instead, it should break our hearts to see such brokenness in the world around us.

It should drive us to our knees in intercession for others.

It should compel us to action and to love.

When are we going to wake up and realize that we are ambassadors for Christ to the broken world around us?

To say that I have never been good with money is an understatement.  My ignorance has really gotten me into some hot water on more that one occasion in my life.  One such occasion was during the 1996 Summer Olympics.  One day, my friend and I decided to take the train into the city of Atlanta to check out all that was going on.  We had an amazing time that day among the mass of people that had come from all over the globe for the games.  However, as we made our way back to the train to go home, we realized that we didn’t have enough money for two tickets.  I had literally spent every dime I had that day and hadn’t considered how I would get home.  Utterly humiliated, I had to ask complete strangers for money for the fare.  It took asking about a dozen people to finally collect the couple of dollars I needed.  I can still feel the pride swallowing desperation of that moment as I write this.

I learned quite a lesson that day.  That it takes a great deal of humility to beg.  To admit that you have nothing, that on your own you cannot meet even the most basic of your needs, and to place your faith in another for those things.

This kind of desperation is the foundation of biblical faith:

1 PETER 5:5 – “Clothe yourself in all humility, as it is written, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

The Scriptures command us to literally cover ourselves in humility.  To realize that we are nothing and have nothing apart from Christ (John 15:5).  Simply put, we are to take on the posture of a beggar before God, desperate for His grace.  A grace, which He offers to us as a free gift in the cross of Christ.  A grace for which our souls are desperately crying out.

Do you realize that everything you have is a gift from God?  Your family, marriage, children, and friends are gifts from God.  Your house, car, clothes, job are all gifts from God and evidence of His grace in your life.

Therefore, I challenge you to take some time today and humble yourself before a gracious and giving God, and truly thank Him for all of the many blessings in your life.

• You can’t please everyone!  As a church planter, we are often tempted to measure success by the number of people who show up and not by our obedience to God.  When people leave or threaten to leave, we question our ability to lead.  Fact: people will leave…sometimes, it’s people we are close to.  The temptation is to do things merely to please people, so they don’t leave.  Everybody has an opinion about how things should be done.  Be obedient to the will of God and the vision He gives you, and not to the clamoring masses who are just looking for someone to “do church” the way they want.

• Cast vision early and often!  When we went to Miami to plant a church we had a very talented and gifted team assembled.  We had experienced a little bit of success in an upstart college/singles ministry in Georgia and I thought that success would translate anywhere, based on our talents and gifts alone.  Looking back, I was extremely naive.  When I arrived in Miami, I spent little time investing in individuals and casting and calling people to a God given vision.  Was there a vision?  Yes.   Did I share that vision with others?  Rarely.  As God leads you, tell people where you are headed and why.  People want to follow a leader who knows where he is going.  They want to know the where, what, why, how, etc.  Take the time to share with others where God is leading.  This will be vital not only in the beginning, but however long God has you in a leadership role.  Adding to this:  Be sure to celebrate victories, milestones along the way.  People really want to know and celebrate what God is doing.  The victories keep people pumped about the vision.

• Spend at least a year prior to launching, investing in and discipling those in your core group!  These are the people who are going to volunteer, lead, and carry out the mission of the church.  You want to know that they really “get it”.  When I moved to Virginia, I came into a situation where I had virtually no time to do this.  I came on board to a church plant not long before the launch.  I wish I had put the brakes on everything until I could spend time with those that would be there to help launch.  Most who were in the core group/launch team have since moved on.  The truth is that everyone had different ideas of how things should look.  Needless to say, nobody was on the same page missionally, philosophically, and theologically.  It has been difficult, but I had to essentially rebuild a core group after launching.  Be sure to spend time equipping people for the work of ministry (Matthew 28:19, Ephesians 4:11-12).

• Family first!  Church planting is hard work.  Even when I am “not working”, I have a hard time shutting down.  I have to understand that while I honor God by working hard.  I honor Him more by leading my family well.  As a church planter, there is this really heavy sense that everything rises and falls on you (yes, I have pride issues).  I get so stressed about things that I really have a hard time separating work and home.  This has hit me hard a couple of times as my wife has rebuked me for being on the phone/texting, etc., while having dinner.  But, the time that this has hit me hardest was when my wife actually said “you love the church more than me”.  Little has hurt my heart more than these words.  This is something I struggle with constantly.  I have had to make some major changes to the way I do things.  Be a godly husband and father first…pastor/church planter second.  And don’t forget that they are on this difficult journey with you.

• Don’t quit!  Maybe I am just weak willed, but at least once every week I think about quitting.  Not just when things are going wrong, but even when things are going well.  There is an unbelievable weight to what we do.  A weight that many people will never understand.  I cling to the promise in James 1:4, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  As difficult as it gets sometimes, I need to be reminded that God is not just “using” me, but working in me so that I may be mature and complete.

There are moments in life that are not just unforgettable, but are actual game changers.  Moments when your life morphs into something new, something beautiful.  This inevitably happens when our children are born.  A few days ago, I found something I had written shortly after my sweet Bella was born and though I would share it.

I never knew a love like this.  A love that was written before time.  A Father’s love must be immeasurable.  Stretching across the heavens and reaching deep into the earth.  Breathing love into but specks of dust.  Relentlessly pursuing love to the ends of the earth.  Gently walking into darkness to hold love in the palm of His hand - Giving His only begotten.  I never knew a love like this.  And I don’t think I can ever comprehend the gift of love that God has given.

When she was born, I knew instantly that I would give my life for my child.  However,  I’m not sure I could ever bear giving my child’s life.  This is the gift of the Father’s love that I am not sure I will ever fully grasp.  But, oh…am I ever grateful for such love.  A love built on the foundation of grace and mercy.  A love framed by the beams of salvation.  What an amazing love the Father gives!”

The truth is that God has taught me so much about his nature and character in my short time as a father.  Things I’m not sure I could have ever really understood before.  Each day with my daughter is a life lesson from God and a visual reminder of His great love.

What a beautiful gift and what an amazing love!

In what tangible ways does God reveal himself in your life, and what serves as a constant reminder of His great love to you?

There are events or moments in each of our lives that permanently leave their mark.  This morning, I was reflecting on some of the pinnacle moments of my life, and why it is that they stick out more than others.  Over the next couple of posts I will be sharing some of these unforgettable moments of my life.

Unforgettable Moment #1 (in no particular order of importance):

The day I graduated from college – I actually had a guidance counselor in high school tell me that I needed to consider other options, because college isn’t for everyone.  A few years later, when I walked onto a stage to receive my bachelor’s degree, I imagined this lady weeping somewhere, dumbfounded by her lack of wise counsel.  Her words actually fueled the flame of my success.  Oh and by the way, I am 4 classes shy of receiving my master’s degree…booyah, Mrs. Guidance Counselor!!!  Anyway, when I stepped off of the stage with my degree in hand, my dad ran and met me halfway down the aisle and hugged me and told me he was proud of me.  Those words have also fueled the flame of my success.  I will never forget how excited he was.  I was the first person on either side of my family to graduate with a bachelor’s degree and the 5 words that my father spoke to me that day made want to accomplish more than I ever dreamed I could.

James 3:10 teaches that “from the same mouth come blessing and cursing.” In other words, with the words of our mouth we have the wonderful ability to be a blessing to others, and on the flip side, the unfortunate ability to curse others.  Likewise, Proverbs 16:24 says, “pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

We have all had moments where words have wounded us, and moments where words have made us feel invincible.  Therefore, we have got to understand that there is such power in the words we speak and we need to take great care of what exits our mouths.  As my wife is constantly reminding me, “Tommy, think before you speak!”

I would love to hear your story.  What is an unforgettable moment in your life, when words have fueled you?

All of my family and friends are busy going about their lives and to be honest, it often hurts to not be a part of it.  To know my friends have new friends to laugh and to share with,  to do life with, is really a struggle for me deal with.  I mean, I know they are still my friends, but things are just different now.  Maybe this is just a part of growing up and I need to learn to cope, but I find myself daydreaming and reminiscing quite a bit of late.  Thinking of the way it used to be.  I also find myself really struggling to focus on accomplishing the simplest of tasks.

Last week I sat in a leadership network meeting and we were watching a Wayne Cordeiro message on Leading on Empty.  Wayne discussed the importance of identifying the things that “fill your tank” or bring you joy.  He basically said that having those things in your life that fill you are just as important as doing the things that drain you.  He went on to say that without these enjoyable things, your lives become solid drudgery.

This week it has hit me.  Spending time with my family and my friends really fills my tank and my tank has been sitting on E for awhile now.  The problem is, that they are so scattered and far away and it can be expensive to travel.  So, I’m not really sure of the solution, only to say that it’s time for me to make an effort, a trip, something, because I can’t continue to run on empty.

I’m not saying this to sound whiny, although I would appreciate your prayers.  However, I know I’m not alone.  We all get so busy running full speed that we rarely slow down enough to refuel.  The truth is that it is so important for our health…our physical, emotional, relational,  and spiritual health to find those things that refuel us.

What does that look like for you?  What is it that fills your tank?